Winter is coming. Let’s take stock in the Deuce Cup’s wrestling attributes.
GodHatesJags – Andre the Giant
When you’ve won the most games and scored the most points, you’re the big man on campus. The only down side for this giant is he’s sitting even in games with Cardi Lee and only 1 game ahead of Clady’s. One thing’s for certain though, nobody wants this leotard wearing monster come playoff time.
Cardi Lee – Stone Cold Steve Austin
The unsuspecting Cardi Lee did what any unsuspecting Stone Cold Steve Austin would do – show up to the party with a pair of beers, get you to drink em, then drop kick you in the pants and rattle off 6 straight wins. If the league’s not lucky, he might get the Jacket at the end of the night too.
Barenaked Cladys – The Undertaker
Cladys has the roster to choke slam anyone in the league on any given day. He’ll have his work cut out for him though, as he tries to hold off the reigning champ to make the 3rd and final playoff spot in Protoss.
Dad Therapy – Vince McMahon
McMahon was the fatherly figure in almost every professional wrestling league since the dawn of time. He also won a few titles, which Dad Therapy is in a prime position to do as well.
King Can – Sting
Sting may well be the most feared wrestler of all time – and similar to King Can, he’s got titles to back it up. King Can needs a strong push in the next 3 games to keep the Jacket.
Idaho Bridge Nutless – Triple H
You know you’re doing something right when you marry Vince McMahon’s daughter. And just as Idaho Bridge Nutless has been doing things right all season, he finds himself sitting at a nervous .500 record and has Zerg sharks swimming all around him. But like Triple H, he’s got the ability to stay cool and collected come crunch time.
Team Coman – Rick Flair
Team Coman is all over the place. He destroys the league champion one week and lays an egg the next. But he’s only one game back in the division – so as long as this Rick Flair can keep away from himself, he’ll be crashing the party in epic fashion.
Cherno Alpha – Randy Savage
Randy Man Cherno Alpha may not win every game, but he’ll win a few big ones. And it will be in style and on PPV. He’s got the momentum to put himself in a playoff position should the top 3 teams in Zerg wobble.
Chalupa Batman – The Rock
Chalupa Batman could lose 5 straight and still be projected to win the next matchup. Averaging over 100 points each week, Chalupa Batman is welcoming opponents with ever so optimistic…
Team Toy – The Big Show
Team Toy just won’t go down. Similar to the Big Show, he keeps getting whooped and then all of a sudden gets right back up and body slams you. He’ll need a miracle to make the playoffs, but this newcomer has put in some work all season.
Dude McNasty’s House of Hoors – Hulk Hogan
How Dude McNasty woke up Tuesday morning after his first win in awhile…
Bye Week – Mick Foley
Like Mick Foley, Bye Week’s consistently getting body slammed into a burning fire of dumpster. Credit to Bye Week though, he keeps getting up and asking for another.
Let’s get started with the week 10 awards…
Juggernaut
Cherno Alpha – 159 points
Cherno’s offense finally clicked with David Johnson actually seeing some production. Sitting two games back in Zerg, the question has to be asked… is it too late?
Shit Kicking
Cherno Alpha 159 – 95.3 over King Can
It’s pretty rare to put up 95 points and be on the wrong side of a shit kicking. King Can picked the wrong week to play Cherno Alpha’s best game of the season.
Butt Pucker
Chalupa Batman 109.2 – 96.7 over Team Toy
If you want to beat Chalupa Batman you gotta put up at least 100 points. Team Toy’s done that just once this season. Pucker up pal.
Blue Balls
Chalupa Batman – 62.9 points
Blue Balls don’t hurt nearly as bad when you win.
Playoffs are still anyone’s game (except McNasty – he’s too busy with the, you know… hoors).
Good luck in week 11 gents.